What the fuck do people even talk about with family? My mom wants to "talk to me" but like... about what lmao? do I ramble for half an hour about "free will vs determinism"?

[lvxferre@mander.xyz]

Mum: when I was younger, it was practically impossible to hold a conversation with her, or even near her. She had a nasty habit of constantly interrupting every single body, and spend minutes rambling about something unrelated. It was so bad it caused family fights, to give you an idea. To make it worse, asking her a direct question was always a chore, so you couldn't really direct the conversation to a topic both would enjoy.

As she got older she got this problem under control. [She still does it, but it's way more bearable.] Nowadays we talk about random stuff; everyday stuff, our days, something I've been working on, something she was painting, about plants (her orchids, my peppers), etc.

Sis, BIL: we talk about random stuff, really; small plans, beer, cheese, etc. Or one of them vents about the other for me, as they know I won't relay it to the other.

Nephew: mostly games, his plans for the uni, computers, stuff like this. Sometimes anime/manga.

[mothra@mander.xyz]

What do I talk about with family.... We are few, but we have our niche interests.

Small talk about work and how's things going, health, anything of note you've done recently like watching a show or visiting somewhere etc. That goes with everyone as a filler I guess.

Mom will ramble about politics and all her friends and family. I occasionally ask about some of her relatives if I remember, and yes, her relatives are also mine but I don't have much of a relationship with these people like she does. So yes it's more about listening. She also likes to talk about her plants and the birds in the backyard.

Dad doesn't need much input. Occasionally I'll have a tech question for him that he will answer or not depending on how much he can be bothered. If it's him opening conversation, it's probably going to be on either a tech or politics news topic. He may or may not want to show off his latest tinkering project. He's more like the average Lemmy user, only he's not a Lemmy user.

Sister has a more intense work life and topics will include work, food, finances, her friends, occasionally popular culture (movies, games). Great listener for whenever I have anxiety over something, or when I just need someone to explain me the normal way of doing things for normal people.

[ryanmiller70@lemmy.zip]

My mom and I usually just talked shit about Dad. Dad and I don't talk much cause we have basically nothing in common. There's times one of us will start rambling about so.ethimg we found interesting, but it's more just to say it than to actually have a conversation. Sometimes that's nice, like venting into the void of the Internet can be nice.

[starlinguk@lemmy.world]

The other day we had a family gathering and we'd all paired off talking quietly. Then my mother suddenly piped up saying "and now we will talk about this, answer this question", ruining everyone's conversation. My niece and I shut her down, but it was too late, the rest of dinner was awkward as hell.

[jakenveina@midwest.social]

I talk to my parents at least once a week.

The majority of it is just each others' goings on. Stuff my son did this week, like his chess club meets, or karate classes, or special school events. Maybe he visited a friend's place, or one of his friends came over to ours. My wife and I help run a non-profit PTO organization, so we'll often talk about events we run or are planning for. We might talk about things we've done with our own friends.

My mom's been fighting cancer and other health issues off and on for years, so from their end, it's often updates about that. Doctors' appointments or just how her day-to-day pain management is going. But we'll also talk about other things going on in their lives, similar to what I mentioned above about ours. Often, she'll fill me in on things happening with regard to extended family, as she has several siblings, and mu dad has even more. Weddings, graduations, new babies, illnesses, that kinda stuff. During baseball season, we'll probably talk a little bit about games we watched during the week.

Long story short: what we talk about is our lives. Cause we care about each other, so it's each other that we're interested in. And I don't mean that as a criticism, or an implication that you don't feel the same way about your family. I'm just trying to put into words what the, uhh... emotional logic is, behind it all. It sounds like you're having trouble wrapping your head around that part, and if so, I can appreciate why the whole concept of small talk might seem inscrutible to you.

Alternatively, maybe there just... isn't a relationship of mutual love and care between you and your parents. If so, that sucks, whatever the reason. It all works in my scenario because the love and care is genuine, both ways. If it wasn't, that'd be a tough roadblock to overcome.

[harmbugler@piefed.social]

My mother tends to do this as well. It can work sometimes if it's a topic of interest to everyone, but it's usually not and just interrupts.

She and my FIL both do this thing where you can tell they have something they want to talk about, wait for a chance to interject and then suddenly change a natural conversation to their pet topic. I call them both out on it now I've noticed.

[chippys_mittens@lemmy.world]

I gave a real answer in his other post. Also, you can talk about those three things you mentioned for hours.

[lvxferre@mander.xyz]

That sounds extremely forced from her part, even worse than what my mum did. As if she was trying to control the conversation.

Mine was simply clueless. Now thinking, I remember grandma scolding her because of this. Stuff like "aah, let others talk too".

[rumo161@feddit.org]

Try talking about your feelings.

[protogen420@lemmy.blahaj.zone]

I have the same problem, but it is with everyone, small talks just dont work in my brain

in my case I do have an autism diagnosis

[benderrodriguez@lemmy.world]

cuz I've been using English since 8 and its my primary lanfuage

We could all use a little practice.

[deathbybigsad@sh.itjust.works]

typos dont count lmao, i use phone most of the time... hard to type

[nao@sh.itjust.works]

Maybe letting her talk first could help you find out what she wants to talk about?

[benderrodriguez@lemmy.world]

I was just casually giving you a hard time.