Why wouldn’t you want to get married

[rbwells@lemmy.world]

For a long time, the taxes worked better with one Head of Household filer and one Single, that's the way you are required to file as unmarried parents, it gave us a bigger standard deduction. Benefits at work could still cover everyone.

I also didn't want to be required to stay, wanted to stay because I wanted to.

Also wasn't religious so didn't have to get married to have sex or kids.

And lastly, I just didn't really want to be a wife, there's a lot of baggage and history associated with that. And a wedding was certainly never my dream, either.

I am married now, because my husband really wanted to be married. Like, his preference was much stronger than mine. It's fine, didn't really change anything for me, we still want to be together and he & our families really, really, really enjoyed the wedding when we had it, like still talk about how nice it was. So I guess I was wrong in some ways.

[lvxferre@mander.xyz]

To answer this, I'll need to explain the context of marriage here in Brazil. It's a bit of a mess.

First there's the "proper" civil marriage (casamento civil): the couple picks a place to celebrate, requesting the presence of a judge, scribe, and two legal witnesses. The judge leads the ceremony and bang, they're married.

There's "stable union" (união estável), a couple living together in order to form a family without making it legally official. They already enjoy most benefits and responsibilities of a legally married couple, such as succession rights, but the property system is a bit of a mess. (i.e. legally it's undefined if their property is to be considered individual, shared, or shared only if obtained after constituting a couple).

Then there's religious marriage (casamento religioso), led by the religious figure the couple chooses. On itself it holds no legal power, but if the couple submits some paperwork in a registry office (a bit before or after the ceremony), it counts legally the same as a civil marriage.

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Now, actually answering the OP: I think most people here go with the stable union route (instead of actual marriage) because it's less fuss, less expensive, and they already enjoy most legal benefits of a married couple anyway. So why bother? Plus the property system only matters if they split, and almost nobody thinks in this case.

It's also possible they performed a religious marriage but didn't bother with the legal paperwork; legally speaking it ends the same deal, as a stable union.

[rebekahwsd@lemmy.world]

It will be twenty years with my husband next year.

I would love to get actually married and not just call him my husband, but he is "an adult disabled since childhood" and if he gets married he loses all his health care and ssdi and such. (Unless he marries another "adult disabled since childhood" which I'm not)

Given how the government is slowly destroying all those things, maybe we'll get married then die because we can't live without them.