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The Fedi Forum

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  3. I firmly believe that I can beat any US politician in a fist fight.

I firmly believe that I can beat any US politician in a fist fight.

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  • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

    I'm a relatively fit, 38 year old, male. I'm 6'3", 235 pounds, muscular. I play hockey 1-2 times a week and regularly exercise.

    Pelosi? One punch, likely death results.

    Trump, dead before he hits the ground.

    JD Vance is a fucking pansy. I'd clock him in the eye one time and he would quit.

    McConnell's head explodes on impact.

    Fetterman? Pre-stroke may have had some competition, but post-stroke he's like Shrek with balance issues.

    L. Graham runs away before it starts.

    AOC, I could pick her up and toss her, but she'd go down swinging, I'm sure.

    RFK would act tough, but one haymaker to the jaw would change that.

    Gaetz goes down protecting his face as to not get plastic surgery damaged.

    Booker might be tough, but I can take him with endurance.

    There's talk of Jesse Ventura getting back into politics, but based on age I can beat him.

    Pete Hegseth would act tough and probably kick, punch the groin, and bite. In the end I would beat him with grit and old fashioned ass beating.

    S This user is from outside of this forum
    S This user is from outside of this forum
    scytale
    wrote last edited by scytale@piefed.zip
    #9

    I ddg’d MMA fighters who became politicians and Markwayne Mullin came up. His record was 3-0 and he’s 10 years older than you. Tito Ortiz was apparently a temporary mayor at some point.

    F 1 Reply Last reply
    5
    • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

      I'm a relatively fit, 38 year old, male. I'm 6'3", 235 pounds, muscular. I play hockey 1-2 times a week and regularly exercise.

      Pelosi? One punch, likely death results.

      Trump, dead before he hits the ground.

      JD Vance is a fucking pansy. I'd clock him in the eye one time and he would quit.

      McConnell's head explodes on impact.

      Fetterman? Pre-stroke may have had some competition, but post-stroke he's like Shrek with balance issues.

      L. Graham runs away before it starts.

      AOC, I could pick her up and toss her, but she'd go down swinging, I'm sure.

      RFK would act tough, but one haymaker to the jaw would change that.

      Gaetz goes down protecting his face as to not get plastic surgery damaged.

      Booker might be tough, but I can take him with endurance.

      There's talk of Jesse Ventura getting back into politics, but based on age I can beat him.

      Pete Hegseth would act tough and probably kick, punch the groin, and bite. In the end I would beat him with grit and old fashioned ass beating.

      S This user is from outside of this forum
      S This user is from outside of this forum
      sbv@sh.itjust.works
      wrote last edited by
      #10

      Finally, a US political post I don't hate.

      1 Reply Last reply
      20
      • S scytale

        I ddg’d MMA fighters who became politicians and Markwayne Mullin came up. His record was 3-0 and he’s 10 years older than you. Tito Ortiz was apparently a temporary mayor at some point.

        F This user is from outside of this forum
        F This user is from outside of this forum
        fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world
        wrote last edited by
        #11

        Looks like a real piece of shit, but you may have found the guy who can take me. We will never know though. Unless you're reading this Markwayne, I want to fuck you up.

        S 1 Reply Last reply
        5
        • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

          Looks like a real piece of shit, but you may have found the guy who can take me. We will never know though. Unless you're reading this Markwayne, I want to fuck you up.

          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          scytale
          wrote last edited by
          #12

          For sure. If you’re gonna go all out and try to beat someone up, might as well pick him.

          F 1 Reply Last reply
          4
          • S scytale

            For sure. If you’re gonna go all out and try to beat someone up, might as well pick him.

            F This user is from outside of this forum
            F This user is from outside of this forum
            fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world
            wrote last edited by
            #13

            Dude, punching Mitch McConnell though? It would be devastating. I would be like Sammy Sosa hitting a pitch from an 8 year old. There would be saggy skin flying around.

            1 Reply Last reply
            6
            • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

              I'm a relatively fit, 38 year old, male. I'm 6'3", 235 pounds, muscular. I play hockey 1-2 times a week and regularly exercise.

              Pelosi? One punch, likely death results.

              Trump, dead before he hits the ground.

              JD Vance is a fucking pansy. I'd clock him in the eye one time and he would quit.

              McConnell's head explodes on impact.

              Fetterman? Pre-stroke may have had some competition, but post-stroke he's like Shrek with balance issues.

              L. Graham runs away before it starts.

              AOC, I could pick her up and toss her, but she'd go down swinging, I'm sure.

              RFK would act tough, but one haymaker to the jaw would change that.

              Gaetz goes down protecting his face as to not get plastic surgery damaged.

              Booker might be tough, but I can take him with endurance.

              There's talk of Jesse Ventura getting back into politics, but based on age I can beat him.

              Pete Hegseth would act tough and probably kick, punch the groin, and bite. In the end I would beat him with grit and old fashioned ass beating.

              F This user is from outside of this forum
              F This user is from outside of this forum
              fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world
              wrote last edited by
              #14

              Tim Sheehy has come to my attention. 40 year old retired Navy SEAL officer. This man would undoubtedly kill me in hand to hand combat.

              D 1 Reply Last reply
              13
              • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

                I'm a relatively fit, 38 year old, male. I'm 6'3", 235 pounds, muscular. I play hockey 1-2 times a week and regularly exercise.

                Pelosi? One punch, likely death results.

                Trump, dead before he hits the ground.

                JD Vance is a fucking pansy. I'd clock him in the eye one time and he would quit.

                McConnell's head explodes on impact.

                Fetterman? Pre-stroke may have had some competition, but post-stroke he's like Shrek with balance issues.

                L. Graham runs away before it starts.

                AOC, I could pick her up and toss her, but she'd go down swinging, I'm sure.

                RFK would act tough, but one haymaker to the jaw would change that.

                Gaetz goes down protecting his face as to not get plastic surgery damaged.

                Booker might be tough, but I can take him with endurance.

                There's talk of Jesse Ventura getting back into politics, but based on age I can beat him.

                Pete Hegseth would act tough and probably kick, punch the groin, and bite. In the end I would beat him with grit and old fashioned ass beating.

                😈MedicPig🐷BabySaver😈M This user is from outside of this forum
                😈MedicPig🐷BabySaver😈M This user is from outside of this forum
                😈MedicPig🐷BabySaver😈
                wrote last edited by
                #15

                Hockey? So, you're homosexual?

                LOL, j/k... the media coverage of Heated Rivalry is out of control.

                F 1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • 😈MedicPig🐷BabySaver😈M 😈MedicPig🐷BabySaver😈

                  Hockey? So, you're homosexual?

                  LOL, j/k... the media coverage of Heated Rivalry is out of control.

                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  F This user is from outside of this forum
                  fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world
                  wrote last edited by fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world
                  #16

                  Brother, I've been playing hockey for 32 years. There ain't a gay joke that I haven't heard from the back of the steamy, grunty, man-pile in the showers after a game. Elephant walks aren't gay, they are team building.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  1
                  • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

                    Tim Sheehy has come to my attention. 40 year old retired Navy SEAL officer. This man would undoubtedly kill me in hand to hand combat.

                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                    dragontypewyvern@midwest.social
                    wrote last edited by
                    #17

                    Nah, he'd leave you alive, to prolong suffering and serve as a warning to his other enemies

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    3
                    • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

                      Mmm...I'm not sure. Being dead disqualifies him though.

                      teftT This user is from outside of this forum
                      teftT This user is from outside of this forum
                      teft
                      wrote last edited by
                      #18

                      Mmm…I’m not sure. Being dead disqualifies him though.

                      Mmm…I’m not sure being dead disqualifies him, though.

                      F 1 Reply Last reply
                      2
                      • teftT teft

                        Mmm…I’m not sure. Being dead disqualifies him though.

                        Mmm…I’m not sure being dead disqualifies him, though.

                        F This user is from outside of this forum
                        F This user is from outside of this forum
                        fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world
                        wrote last edited by fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world
                        #19

                        Time to eat Grandpa. Time to eat, Grandpa.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

                          I'm a relatively fit, 38 year old, male. I'm 6'3", 235 pounds, muscular. I play hockey 1-2 times a week and regularly exercise.

                          Pelosi? One punch, likely death results.

                          Trump, dead before he hits the ground.

                          JD Vance is a fucking pansy. I'd clock him in the eye one time and he would quit.

                          McConnell's head explodes on impact.

                          Fetterman? Pre-stroke may have had some competition, but post-stroke he's like Shrek with balance issues.

                          L. Graham runs away before it starts.

                          AOC, I could pick her up and toss her, but she'd go down swinging, I'm sure.

                          RFK would act tough, but one haymaker to the jaw would change that.

                          Gaetz goes down protecting his face as to not get plastic surgery damaged.

                          Booker might be tough, but I can take him with endurance.

                          There's talk of Jesse Ventura getting back into politics, but based on age I can beat him.

                          Pete Hegseth would act tough and probably kick, punch the groin, and bite. In the end I would beat him with grit and old fashioned ass beating.

                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                          A This user is from outside of this forum
                          Assassassin
                          wrote last edited by
                          #20

                          Prove it, go beat every US politician. You have the element of surprise on your side for the first 2 or 3, so fight the hardest first.

                          F 1 Reply Last reply
                          3
                          • A Assassassin

                            Prove it, go beat every US politician. You have the element of surprise on your side for the first 2 or 3, so fight the hardest first.

                            F This user is from outside of this forum
                            F This user is from outside of this forum
                            fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world
                            wrote last edited by
                            #21

                            I'm just going to show up in Washington and walk into to Congress and shout, "HAVE AT YOU!" with fists raised.

                            A 1 Reply Last reply
                            4
                            • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

                              I'm a relatively fit, 38 year old, male. I'm 6'3", 235 pounds, muscular. I play hockey 1-2 times a week and regularly exercise.

                              Pelosi? One punch, likely death results.

                              Trump, dead before he hits the ground.

                              JD Vance is a fucking pansy. I'd clock him in the eye one time and he would quit.

                              McConnell's head explodes on impact.

                              Fetterman? Pre-stroke may have had some competition, but post-stroke he's like Shrek with balance issues.

                              L. Graham runs away before it starts.

                              AOC, I could pick her up and toss her, but she'd go down swinging, I'm sure.

                              RFK would act tough, but one haymaker to the jaw would change that.

                              Gaetz goes down protecting his face as to not get plastic surgery damaged.

                              Booker might be tough, but I can take him with endurance.

                              There's talk of Jesse Ventura getting back into politics, but based on age I can beat him.

                              Pete Hegseth would act tough and probably kick, punch the groin, and bite. In the end I would beat him with grit and old fashioned ass beating.

                              _ This user is from outside of this forum
                              _ This user is from outside of this forum
                              _stranger_@lemmy.world
                              wrote last edited by _stranger_@lemmy.world
                              #22

                              You'll make a fatal mistake engaging either Cruz or McConnel in mele combat. In McConnell 's case, the ichor will explode forth as soon as you break the skin, enveloping you in a skin of evil, melting you down into your component parts before you even registered what happened.

                              Cruz is worse. The colony of unknown organisms inhabiting his skin suit will likely rip you apart slowly from the inside after issuing forth from his busted maw, crawling through your eyes and mouth, devouring everything they touch.

                              I recommend you save them for last. The fallen bodies of the other senators will likely prove too great a temptation, triggering a feral/instinctual feeding response that will expose their true nature, likely lowering their chances of getting reelected by 3-5% points.

                              F 1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • _ _stranger_@lemmy.world

                                You'll make a fatal mistake engaging either Cruz or McConnel in mele combat. In McConnell 's case, the ichor will explode forth as soon as you break the skin, enveloping you in a skin of evil, melting you down into your component parts before you even registered what happened.

                                Cruz is worse. The colony of unknown organisms inhabiting his skin suit will likely rip you apart slowly from the inside after issuing forth from his busted maw, crawling through your eyes and mouth, devouring everything they touch.

                                I recommend you save them for last. The fallen bodies of the other senators will likely prove too great a temptation, triggering a feral/instinctual feeding response that will expose their true nature, likely lowering their chances of getting reelected by 3-5% points.

                                F This user is from outside of this forum
                                F This user is from outside of this forum
                                fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world
                                wrote last edited by
                                #23

                                You watch too much anime or something. lol

                                _ 1 Reply Last reply
                                2
                                • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

                                  You watch too much anime or something. lol

                                  _ This user is from outside of this forum
                                  _ This user is from outside of this forum
                                  _stranger_@lemmy.world
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #24

                                  I'm from Texas and I've met Ted Cruz. This is experience talking.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  4
                                  • F fenderstratocaster@lemmy.world

                                    I'm just going to show up in Washington and walk into to Congress and shout, "HAVE AT YOU!" with fists raised.

                                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                                    A This user is from outside of this forum
                                    Assassassin
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #25

                                    I am poor, but I will gladly donate to your GoFundMe after you get arrested. This is God's work.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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